I had myself a bit of fun last night. Although the Sentinels are starting to think that I'm a sadist. I'm not . . . usually. Sometimes I wonder about myself though. It is a rather interesting mental exercise to draw out their deepest, darkest sexual fantasies then let them think I made them come true. Sometimes, even being able to read people's minds doesn't help me understand them any better. At least none of the ones I've messed around with show any inclination of seeking me out. Maybe it was that subtle warning I put into each of their pseudo-experiences.

Theirrian wasn't very happy when he found out what I was doing to them, but morale hasn't suffered any. We discussed things over tea on his veranda this morning. I am continually surprised at how different he is from my expectations of him. Below is a transcript of our conversation I had recorded.

"You look beautiful this morning."

Theirrian smirked. "That is my line."

"Mmm, maybe so but you do look nice."

"I'm hung over Sarin."

"So, bleary eyed and sleepy suits you."

"I really won't ever understand you will I."

"Probably not." I sipped my tea, smiling at him over the rim of the cup. "There is only one person who can."

"I know, I know you don't have to remind me. I'm still a bit confused about the whole thing personally. I mean who knew Zaryfa could predict something like that."

"Ah, she didn't so much predict as guess. She's different about those types of things."

"So are you going to go through with it?" He sat back looking at me and I found I couldn't hold that intense blue gaze.

"I have to don't I."

Disorientation

Today I finally met Therrian. He's a lot different than I'd expected from the holovids. He looks almost exactly like his father, which is to be expected since he was engineered that way. He's my height, which is over two meters and blonde with the bluest eyes I've ever seen on a man. The thing that really struck me is that he actually touched me. It's so rare than anyone touches empaths, maybe it's becuase he isn't one. He had to know that by touching me, he basically let me have free access to everything he was feeling at that moment. Which was a lot to say the least. It really surprised me. I wonder if he did it on purpose.

At least they didn't just clone Drake. It's nice that Therrian is his own person, even if he doesn't seem to have Drake's business acumen. He's extremely smart though and fun to talk to. We ended up talking for several hours over lunch. Other than Yuoli it was the first time I've not felt like I had to keep my guard up the whole time. We made plans to go to dinner in Jyroca tomorrow evening. I'm actually rather excited about it. Which I shouldn't be. I just have so many things to ask him about. Things that I would never be able to find out otherwise.

I have to go find something to wear.

Days and Days

It has been almost two months. Things have been very hectic and I've been doing good to actually make it to my bed before I fall asleep. Qadira is working hard to make sure all of us are here. It's odd to see all the heads of the respective clans here on Belarus. Every one has their own agenda as to why they are here. The last ones to arrive will be Xervia and Acide, both are days away on the other side of the galaxy attending to business. I have never met Acide and am anxious to see what she is like.

I've been keeping my distance from him. He seems rather leery of everyone. I don't know if it is because of his injuries or something else. It's difficult for me to have to be a totally different person around everyone. Sometimes I feel like I'm slipping into my roll a little too easily. Especially since Qadira seems to enjoy making me punish Sentinels for the slightest infraction.

I was able to find a hidden file in one of the backup storage servers that is all about him. It is really quite amazing that he is even alive. I'll go into more detail at a later time. I have to go now. She's calling me on the vidcom. Hopefully, I will get some more time to myself in the future, but we will see.

Day ?

Things have not been going well. I was nearly discovered by Qadira and now I have to work doubly hard to convince her that I am loyal to her. How could I have been so stupid?

He is doing better. He's already back to training which is a vast improvement from three nights ago. I seriously wanted to kill her and it nearly gave me away. I am going to have to make sure I have complete and utter control if I am to complete this assignment.

I hope to have better news in a few days.

Day 6

So, shopping went fine. Things were not fine once we got back though. I should never have left. Qadira is more of a tyrant than I'd believed possible. She hurt him. Really hurt him. I think she is trying to kill him.

Yuoli spent all evening and most of the night working on him and he is still going to be in sick bay long enough to miss the next mission. I haven't been down to visit him. I need to wait until he's asleep.

Day 5

It frosted last night. I got up early this morning to go out to the stables and everything was covered in white. So odd. I'd never seen it before, but it reminds me of the way his presence seems to permeate everything now. Nothing is left untouched.

Gods and demons it's cold!

At least Youli and I are going down to Suyla for the day to go shopping. I hadn't packed much cold weather gear and they don't like us wearing the autotemp cloth here. I'm actually really surprised at just how little technology they do use here at the manor. Youli says it's mostly because of the little co-tac. Things seem to get broken or become unusable around him. So I am learning how to do things a bit more low tech. Which is fun . . . even if it is a bit annoying.

I'll log back in after we go shopping and show you some of the things I got.

Day 4

I've never believed in fate or destiny. It always seemed trite, frivolous. I have always believed that I make my own way, I've turned the tide of battles single-handed. What possible control could the galaxy have on a person like me? Why would it bother? Yet, I'm beginning to wonder. Queen Zaryfa told me before I came, "Sarin, sometimes there are greater things at work. Things even those of us who are gifted to be able to see, don't understand or cannot comprehend. I have no idea why this is so, but it is. You will find your destiny in the autumn rain under twin moons, it will take you across the galaxy and back again and while you will think yourself destroyed it will make you invincible."

I'm still not sure I understand what she was saying, but I do know one thing. I'm terrified.

I finally saw him in person last night and . . . he has to be the most terrifying being I have ever met. He projects his hatred for everything so strongly that I'm sure even non-empaths can feel it. But, there is so much pain there it makes me just want to take and hold him and make all the pain go away. I hate that he is just going to see me as another enemy. It has to be this way . . . for now.

He's supposed to be sleeping now, but even though he is three stories below me in the basement sleeping quarters with the other Sentinels I can still feel his presence. He overpowers everything else. Youli told me that he is heavily medicated to keep his empathic abilities to a manageable level. I'm not surprised. He could easily drive other empaths insane.

Other than his incredible abilities, I found him to be rather intriguing. I hope I'll be able to get to know what he is really like as a person, not just as the current co-tac.

Day 3

I'm so tired. My meeting with Qadira was exhausting in more ways than one. I really don't know if I am up to this. The pain tabs aren't helping and I think I might go see Youli if this headache doesn't let up soon.

I was really looking forward to seeing him when he gets home but I don't want to meet him looking and feeling like I've been trampled by a dika.

I'm going to go lay down for a while.

Day 2

Things have been interesting. Woke up this morning only to realize I'm still on ship time and no one else would be up for several hours. So I took the opportunity to wander around a bit. This place never seems to sleep and I'm finding the Sentinels might be a bit of a distraction. Or at least a useful way to cement my personna. They seem a bit wary of me, which I find amusing.
I found out that Yuoli is here. I'm excited to go see her. I haven't seen the healer in almost a year. Not since the last gala. I'm sure she's got lots of interesting things to tell me. She might even know something about him.
I have to meet with Qadira today and I am not looking forward to that. She and I have never been the best of friends and now I have to appease her in anyway I can. I just hope that my shields hold. She's notorious for digging for information with out permission. If she wasn't one of the Elite she probably would have been locked up as a psyvamp. I'm twitching just thinking about it. I hope our Queen is right about doing this. I really do.
It's raining again. I wish it would have been clear so I could see the mountians. All I got to see yesterday as I came in for my landing was fog and the landing zone once I got close enough. Nothing like flying by your sensors alone to give you a thrill. I hear this place, the Fall Manor is rather imposing yet beautiful and I'm actually looking forward to seeing it in the daylight. I'm looking forward to seeing the autumn as well. I've been told it's quite beautiful.
Only one more day before he gets back!

Day 1 Infiltration

I never imagined that I would find myself being sent out on guard duty. I am after all The Baroness of Sal'Or. Yet Zuleykha cannot be denied. She made a rather convincing argument for it after all. Who could resist such an assignment?
I'm still in orbit above Belarus waiting for clearance to land. He isn't here. He's gone on a mission and isn't due back for two more days. Well, that gives me time to get settled and assume my role. That is the one part I'm not looking forward to. He's going to hate me. I'm going to hate myself, but hopefully it all works out in the end.